Tracey's story of finding freedom
The main reason for the photoshoot was I have 3 chronic disabilities, they dictate how I need to live my life and often steal my plans away from me due to being in too much pain or experiencing chronic fatigue or otherwise debilitated.
I saw a post on Facebook asking me to tell my story, I just thought "why not!” I had also been in a domestically violent relationship and had found my freedom from that but am on a journey of healing and finding my power again.
I felt as though a photoshoot would be something special, doing something for myself.
“ I felt that the experience would be vulnerable yet empowering and help me to really see myself again, to appreciate my body and find a sense of self through art.”
During the shoot I had a myriad of feelings come up, at the start it was nervousness and excitement, but it developed into a sort of juvenile confidence mostly encouraged by the meticulous make-up done by the Make-Up Artist on site and the cheer-leading from my photographer Hannah!
I was made to feel like I had a natural talent for modelling from the start, I was coached where needed, there was lots of jokes and laughter with Hannah who thoroughly looked after me.
As the shoot progressed into other "looks" I experienced some vulnerability, my body was in pain from my illnesses, but I felt happy and was able to show this with confidence during the shoot.
I feel more empowered and less concerned with how I look, putting more of a focus on how I feel about myself as a person rather than just a body. The shoot lifted me in a way I have not experienced before.
“I see the beauty in myself, inside and out and I don't doubt it so much anymore.”
After the shoot I felt like I could sit on the floor and cry for a good half an hour. It was a strange thing to feel after such a happy and uplifting experience, however the support I got from my photographer and from conversations with Gary, made a few things come to the surface for me, the entire experience helped me to release some of the troublesome emotions I had held onto from my DV relationship.
When I saw the photos, I was excited, amazed that they were even of me and empowered to know it is in fact me!
“I have never seen myself looking quite so beautiful.”
I have displayed the canvas print on my bedroom wall facing my bed, before I sleep each night and when I wake each morning it is there to remind me that I am worthy, powerful in my own right and from that look in my eye, a little cheeky too! The Album is on a shelf in my coffee table :)
My advice for other women thinking of having their own photoshoot: Do it!! Throw your worries to the wind and embrace the experience.
Thank you - Tracey
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